Here's to Not Saying What You're Thinking

I was calling to change my address for a legal document and the guy asked me my social security number. Well, brace yourself for this, I don't have my SS# memorized. Gasp! I said "hang on a minute, let me get my wallet." He exclaimed, "what’s a matter girl, don't you know your Social Security number?"

I said, "No, I have enough trouble even remembering my phone number." It was a bitter memory (not), when I was first filing this same paperwork, I couldn't remember my telephone number! It's true. After humming and hahhing for a while the lady finally, "we don't need it." And then I remembered what it was. You know, going into it, I just knew I was going to forget it and you would have thought I'd have taken some precautions, but no. But back to the man on the telephone....

He listened and then asked, "Are you blonde?"

Can he get in trouble for saying that? I just want to know, that's all. I reassured him, "no, not really. Numbers just aren't my thing." I'm very glad I stopped from defending myself by saying, "but I could cook you a pretty good meal." It was my only redeeming quality that came to mind and I was about to make some pies for Thanksgiving. Honestly, he sounded older, sort of the grandfather type (uh, maybe I just really insulted him?), but I'm so glad that I processed that one fast enough to discarded it. Just not a good idea. Really, really not a good idea. I can laugh because I didn't say it. I would be dying if I had. Dead. Or wishing I was.

I wonder what he would have said if I'd told him, "it's not my natural hair color," Pause, "it's not my artificial hair color either."